Ruminations on Life in India

While I slack on writing blogs, I have tons of blog topics and incomplete blogs which I never get around to finishing/ posting. Here is a smattering of random thoughts on life in Pune:

Eating an ice-cream cone outside is a risky proposition in a city with visible air pollution. Then again, a mango ice-cream on a hot hot day tastes damn good.

I like hammocks and sea-breezes. Potentially more than work.

The forecast today (and everyday) is smoke.

Auto-rickshaws, motorbikes, trains, buses, cars, camels, feet: I love me some transportation in India.

I fear it will take me a long time to get used to some Indian cultural norms. For example, my friends here can be both candid and indirect. I, unfortunately, have trouble picking up on Indian subtleties and I often feel uncomfortable with blunt comments which offend my American sensibilities. Examples:
The day after some coworkers had a dance party-"So, Jamie, you cannot dance?!"
Upon eating a pasta dinner I had cooked-"It's ok, I like bland food."
Watching me eat lunch-"So, Jamie, you are getting fat, you must be liking Pune!"

On a daily basis, I find myself sitting through many small physical discomforts that are generally avoidable in the US: the discomfort of being incredibly hot, the discomfort of sitting on the ground for hours, the discomfort of being squished with 2-3 extra people in most vehicles, the discomfort of sleeping on a thin straw mattress, the discomfort of electricity and water shortages. These fairly minor discomforts remind me that privilege comes in many forms. While not enjoyable, I think it’s a valuable experience to live without some privilege, in solidarity with billions of people around the world who have no choice in the matter.

I'll post more and add to these soon...

Indian Hospitality

I spent the day wearing my coworker’s clothes after a busy night where I was unable to return to my flat..

Scandalous? Not quite.

In fact, this was only my latest experience with Indian hospitality.

Earlier in the week, I had come to office excited over my recent triumph baking chapati (Indian bread). While impressed, many of my coworkers were curious to know what else I was cooking. I revealed that chapati was pretty much the extent of my Indian cooking and asked for some help. Perhaps some of the women whose tiffins (containers of food) brought so much delight to lunchtime could teach me a dish or two?

Vrinda, member of the NGO accounting team, office “auntie,” and cook extraordinaire was quick to invite me to her home. Although the language barrier had previously kept us from extensive communication, she seemed proud to tell our coworkers that I was coming to her home that Friday afternoon.

My evening at the Deo household was lovely, sometimes awkward, and definitely educational. Vrinda’s daughter (Predna) and husband (Dr. Deo) were excited to meet me, and we had conversations about everything from health care, music, gender roles, and sports while enjoying mango juice, delicious food, and melting ice cream. Predna and I bonded over the music on our mp3 players and she took me to her nearby house to meet her husband and cook their dinner. Upon returning to Vrinda’s, we cooked a late meal (well, she cooked and I watched) in matching house dresses (which Vrinda kindly provided). After dinner, the Deos decided that it was too late for me to return home and so insisted that I spend the night. Vrinda and I retired early (in the same king size bed!) and we went to work together in the morning both dressed in her clothing.

While with the Deos, I was constantly encouraged to “relax,” not to “be formal” and otherwise to feel at home. They included me in future plans (next time you stay over, I will take you to my favorite market/favorite temple/favorite nearby hill station…) and offered to help me acclimate to Pune in various ways. This was not the first time that Indian acquaintances invited me to their home and helped me to feel a member of the family.

Another coworker, Harish, recently invited Michaela and I to spend the day with him and his wife at their home outside of the city. Michaela and I took a local train (our first!) to meet Harish at Karla and Bhaja Buddhist caves near his home in Talegaon. We spent the morning hiking and exploring, with Harish playing tour guide, telling us the history of the caves and taking a ton of pictures for us all. After working up an appetite, we were more than ready to escape the afternoon sun and meet up with Vijaya (Harish‘s wife) at their home. After a brief interlude waiting for a train (read: two hours), we arrived to a feast of several courses. We were encouraged to nap the afternoon away and enjoy the evening sunset on their lovely porch. To the disappointment of Harish and Vijaya, we did not accept their invitation to stay the night (we had work in the morning) and they put us on the evening train, waving to us as we rode away.

One of my first encounters with incredible hospitality and generosity in Pune came from a friendship forged by AJWS in country-representative Sunita. The daughter of Sunita’s best friend lives in Pune with her husband, so Michaela and I were introduced to Nidhi and Abhijeet before we even arrived in the city. Not only did the couple help us with apartment hunting and various logistical trouble-shooting, they also invited us into their home upon our arrival and treated us like family. I remember feeling a bit lost when we arrived in Pune and sitting in a warm home with a cute, loving family felt really centering.

In the end, I suppose that I am talking about personal connections. When in a familiar place, it is easy to feel so connected that meeting new people is not a priority. But, when far from known people and places, you find yourself in need of new connections and grateful to those people who take the time and energy to reach out to you.

I truly appreciate all the people I have met who have taken the time to reach out to me.